Is the dieting over after the Lap-Band - The truth about post surgery eating

I have survived my Lap-Band surgery, and as I look in the mirror, I realize that now that I’ve closed up my stomach a bit, I can eat whatever I want. After two weeks of a liquid diet, I’m ready for my grandmother’s homemade cooking.

Bring on the fried chicken, the baked macaroni and cheese, and the “nothing beats homemade” pound cake. I am ready to dig in and grub. In fact, I’ve been washing my wedding china and polishing my silver for over a week now. I am so ready to eat.

Excuse me, Grandma, but I think you just passed me with that platter of fried chicken. Why are you giving him my drumsticks? You know I love my drumsticks. I don’t care if he is my husband; I really don’t love him enough for you to give him my drumsticks.

Okay, I can move on. Grandma just went back to the kitchen. She’s getting my whole plate of drumsticks. Once when I was nine, I actually ate 7 of Grandma’s drumsticks at one sitting. I can still smell that chicken frying even while I played in the bag yard. Even when I just licked the skin of that chicken, my taste buds were in ecstasy from the Goya seasoning. Dang it, Grandma – where is my food?

Suddenly, Grandma returns. She’s passing out the macaroni and cheese now, and my cousin Ginger, is passing out MaMa’s potato salad that you cannot resist. Instead of putting potato salad on my plate, Ginger places a salad bowl filled with chicken salad on my China plate. What the hell? Can I say that on the Internet? I must have died last night, because my favorite foods aren’t being placed on my plate.

Then, my soon to be ex-husband, with chicken grease on his hands and macaroni and cheese dripping off his lips, pats my hands and says, “I love you honey, but you know you can’t eat all that stuff. I guess we need to go over the foods you need to avoid again.”

Damn, damn, damn, I thought as I stabbed my knife into my chicken salad. I couldn’t say anything else; he was right but I still planned on killing him later because he could have been eating salad too.

Oh well, I knew what I was getting into, and it was working. I had already lost 30 pounds. The plan was working; I just had to stick with the Lap-Band diet.

The Lap-Band Diet is made of healthy food, foods which have a high nutritional value and are low in calories. The Lap-Band does not tell you what to eat, but it limits how much you can eat.

If you want to lose weight, here are some of the foods you must avoid:

• Drinks high in calories such as soda, beer, milkshakes, orange juice, whole milk
• High fat foods - <sniff, sniff> - all fried foods, sausage, bacon, chips, chocolate, pastries, ice-cream
• Sugar and sugary foods like candy, cookies, Grandma’s pound cake <sob>, syrup, jam
• Butter or oil should are limited to 3 to 4 teaspoons a day
• Starchy and white flour foods like rice, pasta, and fluffy breads

There are other food items can cause problems with the Lap-Band. You should

stay far, far away from these.

• Foods high in fiber such as celery, corn, oranges, pineapples, sweet potatoes can get stuck in the stomach opening
• Carbonated beverages like soda, carbonated water, and champagne may expand the pouch and create an uncomfortable situation.
• Other foods which should be avoided are rough meats like hamburger and pork chops, nuts, popcorn, and the skins and seeds of many vegetables and fruits.
• Alcohol should not be an option because it is high in calories, and breaks down vitamins in the body. If you have to take a sip (like most of us do on occasion), then it can be 1 small glass of wine or other alcoholic beverage. All carbonated alcoholic beverages, including beer and champagne should be avoided.
• Avoid snacks between meals.

That’s a lot of don’ts for a hungry lady, but every day as I look in the mirror and then go to the gym and can actually work out, I don’t mind them all that much.